Day 522. Everybody knows smoking kills. However, most smokers cannot stop smoking, due to the fact that smoking is an addictive drug. The reasons behind the addiction are well known and the negative health effects of tobacco are known: cancer, heart disease, aneurysms, bronchitis, emphysema, and stroke, just to name a few. Despite the risks people continue to smoke or start to smoke. The marketing effect is still very strong and smoking is seen as being cool, before it gets into your brain through nicotine.

Because of emotional and chemical reasons behind addiction, logical reasons have little to no effect on stopping. I used to smoke and some days like that while others hate it. What decided me was the two reasons described in Alan Carr’s book Easy way to stop smoking:

• Tobacco is a drug and you are not responsible of your addiction to smoking beyond the first cigarettes you tried that hooked you on nicotine addiction
• Entering the non-smoker’s world is a choice. In other words, you can be happy without tobacco (you are actually more happy without tobacco).

But having discussed with some smokers, even those two reasons are too rational. I came up with five that have some echoes in conversations with smokers, because they do not seem to be as rational as all the good reasons nonsmokers generally give.

• Even on a party where you have drunk a little too much, if you do not smoke the next morning is much, much better. Alcohol and tobacco have an additive effect that gives these terrible headaches and horrible feeling in the mouth and throat.
• If you have to choose between one year of cigarettes at home or two weeks of holidays in the Bahamas (replace by any place you would like to visit)? Why the choice? It’s the same price!
• You can come back home sooner every day. An average smoker loses around one hour of productive work every day due to the pauses he/she needs. Tobacco put a high tax on your productivity.
• You’ll be able to make love more and longer. Tobacco and sex are not good friends. Tobacco causes vascular problems and direct erectile dysfunction. Less tobacco means more sex.
• 15 times more nicotine and you’re dead. A cigarette contains around 30 mg of nicotine. If that does was half a gram, it will kill you, this is how lethal nicotine is.

It’s never a better time to stop than now.

Day 521. Forrest Gump was comparing life to a box of chocolate, you never know what you will get. This is why you need to always be flexible when it comes to setting expectations. And particularly when you are going to unchartered territories. In many situations in life plunging into the unknown is needed but scary. Doing things that scare you is necessary to progress. How to enjoy that plunge, you may need to change your perspective, your belief system and your expectations. Here are 9 no nonsense, but not natural, reasons to enjoy the plunge.

• That which does not kill us makes us stronger. The famous Nietzsche quote. Some psychologists, like Noam Shpancer in the What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Weaker article, disagree with this statement, claiming that tender love and care toughen you up not mayhem and chaos. Where others claim it’s true, like in this 2010 study titled « Whatever Does Not Kill Us: Cumulative Lifetime Adversity, Vulnerability and Resilience » whose results are available on the phys.org web site. Based on my experience, as long as no life is at stake, this statement is true and will tremendously help you to confront your fears with confidence.
• Time is relative. Einstein coined this in the theory of relativity. In the field of psychology, it’s called time perception. We all have experienced this: a bad event seems to last longer than a nice one, which happen to always be too short. Keep a neuron on this, whatever happens it’s never longer or shorter than the reality of the clock ticking.
• tiny is BIG. Tiny victories needs to be celebrated. If you ever walked in the complete dark in a forest and suddenly saw a light in the distance. What a relief! It’s a tiny hope, but a big relief. So ensure all minuscule victories are celebrated so you can accumulate and learn from them.
• Leverage all senses. We absorb and learn by many of our senses. You cannot, for instance, learn how to ride a bicycle by just reading a book. You learn by trying and falling. Whatever you are trying to do, use a multi sensorial approach. See, write, do, feel, taste or smell if possible. Confront all your different results to enjoy the experience and learn.
• Set hopes, forget expectations. As Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds once said « When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment » and as Seth Godin says « expectations are joy killer ». Hope is your North Star and moves you up.
• Get ready to be surprised (positively and negatively). If you are prepared for the unexpected, no hurdles will be high enough to stop you and kill your enthusiasm.
• Note down everything. The American Psychological Association published a research in the Journal of Experimental Psychology explaining why writing about stressful events cause improvements in health and psychological well-being. Take some time everyday to write about your day, your minuscule wins, your mistakes and your learnings.
• Visualize the amount of learning you will be going through. A clinical study by the center of stress management of Carrboro, NC, showed an increase of white blood cell, protecting your body from infection. Many others have proven the positive effect of mental imagery to decrease stress and anxiety, and improve well-being. Tons of references could be found here. Visualizing what you are going to learn and how you are going to grow is a fantastic and exhilarating exercise.
• Be ready to fail BIG. The number fear of not moving is the fear of failure. But not moving is failing. So better failing when trying that failing by not trying. Expect to fail, put failure of one of the possible outcomes. As Jon Bon Jovi said « Success is falling nine times and getting up ten ».

I have learned to love plunging into the unknown by thinking about those 9 reasons before and during the plunge. It has never been natural for me, but after some years of successes and failures, I forged those rules and applied them to any new activities. I hope they will work for you and will contribute to your comfort zone expansion.

Day 520. Some mornings are better than others. When you wake up to what seems to you a tough day ahead, think about those 7 smiles you can have just to remind you that it’s you and only you who have the power to see things through a positive lens.

• You are alive. We have only one life and even when life throw a curve ball at us, it’s something to learn about, but hey, smile, you’re alive and it has no price.
• Your morning coffee/tea. It feels good whether it’s cold outside or just dark, this hot beverage is something you like, smile at it, it feels good.
• The morning sun or the morning clouds. Both are natural and necessary for life to exist. Although I love sunny days, I love to see the shape and the color of clouds, it’s full of magic. Smile at them!
• The beautiful building you are seeing every day without seeing it. Habits tend to make things invisible, fight back! Look at this building or monument, and enjoy its details, colors, architecture. It’s a piece of beautiful art.
• People. Smiling at people does cost a dime and is a great experience. Most people will think you are a loony, but I prefer being a smiling loony than a grinning serious guy.
• Your spouse and your kid. You love them, show them. Yes, a family can have its bad moments, you may be bored, but remember how you loved them, it’s in your power to find this love again, smile at them! And if you are alone, smile at your neighbor, who knows, he/she can become closer
• Nothing and everything. No need to have a reason to smile, just smile for the sake of smiling. As we say, if you cannot make it, fake it… soon this smile will pour happiness in your veins.

Scientifically proven, a smile has powerful effects. Be the change in your life and in other’s, smile!

Day 519. Yesterday, among the many messages on my twitter flow was this one from Robin Sharma. How many times do we doubt and drop the ball, following the path of least resistance? We all have experienced the feeling of the little voice inside our head saying, « don’t do it, it’ll fail » or « don’t do it, you’ll look like a fool ». This quote and image reminds us that we need to slap down the little voice and jump.

Yes it may fail, yes, we may look like a fool, but we would have tried. How many times did you regret not having done something you would have loved to do but did not for whatever lie you told yourself. Of course we always need to balance things in life, but burying our dreams and our bold ideas is the best way to put aside what makes the beauty of life and what makes the best way to learn. Here are 5 examples of things you may have doubt on but should dare to do.

• Going to see your boss to discuss your next promotion. Nobody’s entitled to a promotion even when you have worked hard. However, going to talk to your boss on what he/she thinks you need to do to be on the next promotion list is the smartest way to learn and to know what to do. Dare! He/she’s a human being like you.
• Skydiving. Man, this is scary, jumping from an airplane at 12 or 15,000 feet with just a parachute. You’re scared because it may kill you. There’s actually more risk to be killed by crossing a busy street than by skydiving. Dare! Book your seat to the nearest club and do it. The feeling is just awesome.
• Giving your point of view. Because you are not outspoken or slightly introvert, you may not be comfortable challenging the ideas shared during a meeting. Furthermore, you’ve never done it so you do not want to look like a fool. Dare! You will surprise for sure, but you will contribute and there’s a good chance you’ll be heard.
• Stepping forward for a stretch assignment. You are busy, you do not have time for more. It’s a wonderful opportunity to learn how to handle more differently. Yes, it may make you uncomfortable, but the only way to increase our comfort zone is by stepping out of it to redefine its borders. Dare!
• Going to a far place you’ve never been too, and preferably where you do not speak the language. Ever been stuck in a country where nobody speaks your language. It’s never a horrible experience because most people are nice with strangers and you will experience kindness from people who owe you nothing. Scary, but much less than you imagine. Dare!

I can go on and on like this. It requires courage, but more than this, it just requires to change your point of view. Horrible outcomes are first to come to mind and this is why we tend not to dare, but imagination can be changed to positive outcome. Like workout, it’s a matter of training. Teach your brain to imagine a positive future and its likely to happen.

Day 518. The two most powerful words of the English language are Thank you. We are all taught to say thank you as a kid. Up to a point that is becomes something normal that end having no meaning anymore, it’s just a way to be « polite ». However, when said outside of any form of reply, it takes an all other dimension. Here are 10 simple phrases that you can use to express your gratitude to anybody:

• I wanted to thank you for your help during the meeting with the customer. This was really valuable.
• Thanks for your time and effort on answering this urgency.
• I really appreciated your contribution during our last discussion.
• I am really grateful to have you as a friend.
• Thank you for being with me when I needed you the most.
• Your words meant so much to me. Thank you very much.
• Your action and dedication made a real difference.
• I owe you a lot for what you have done.
• You blew everybody’s mind by your thoughtfulness.
• We are all thankful for your involvement in this meeting.

It’s so simple that we forget how powerful it is. And if you lack imagination or are just short of words, remember the two most powerful words remain Thank you!

Day 517. Monday, for a lot of people, is the most horrible day of the week. Of course, when you don’t love your work it can be, but if you love what you do, it’s just another day. The truth is sometimes we just do not feel the motivation to start the day. So whatever day you are on when you do feel motivated, here are 7 simple tricks to get motivation kicking.

1. Listen to music. The music you like, the tune that will make you smile. Whatever it is, put your earplugs and pump up the volume. You will get a nice shot of dopamine.
2. Go for a run. If you do not run, do your preferred « sweating » activity. It will free some endorphins, the neuro transmitter that gets released after an orgasm. Worth some drops of sweat.
3. Have breakfast with your loved ones. This will increase the production of oxytocin, the love hormone. Nothing comes close to spending quality time with people you truly love.
4. Listen to a motivational speech. This may sound artificial, but listening to a truly good motivational speaker will switch your mood almost instantly.
5. Meditate for fifteen minutes. Meditation may not be your cup-of-tea, but give it a real try. Find a nice place, put on some relaxation music, breath and let the flow begins. Always a nice surprise for stressed people.
6. Show gratitude. When you arrive to your office, say thank you to three people for something they did for you in the last ten days. You’ll be amazed by the power of these little two words.
7. Smile. If you cannot make it, fake it! A smile is proven to have an effect on our own mood. After smiling for a while, you will feel this smile sink into you.

Motivation is a strange animal. Sometimes it’s there, sometimes not. One or many of the above tips will trick your body in a positive way and will help you getting the motivation back. And do not forget to treat you once you’ve made something valuable you planned.

Day 513. When have you criticized something lately? May be it was your coffee this morning that was too hot, or the traffic that was too dense, or your boss who has been pushing too much work to you… whatever it was, what did it do? Probably nothing on the outside, but it fueled your negativity on the inside. Some will argue that it’s good to criticize, it helps to make things better and it feels good. It helps to make things better if, and only if, you can contribute to make them better. In the case of your hot coffee, you can definitely put it in the fridge, add cold water or just wait. On the traffic, if you are not working for your city, you cannot act upon the traffic but on the time you go to work for instance to avoid the peak time. On the feel good side, you succumbed to your archaic system, the path of least resistance, criticizing without proposing a solution.

Your coffee’s too hot? Great, you can cool it down by applying one of the solution I shared. The traffic is horrendous? Great, you’ll have more time to listen to this fantastic audio book and you will seek alternative route or different time to go to the office. Your boss is pushing too much work? Great, here’s a way to shine and to look for ways to get more productive, or to have a discussion to share your concerns. In all the cases, you archaic system makes you rant, and your prefrontal cortex makes you find a solution. The first is in charge of your Cro-Magnon side, the second of your personality and social behavior. Why do I write about your brain? Because each of your decision happens here and YOU are in charge. There’s no magic, it’s all yours to change, or not.

By criticizing without offering solution, we lose our precious time and are undermining our credibility. By criticizing AND proposing a solution, we move to a more advanced and respected behavior. The ultimate step is to not criticize and propose a solution to what is perceived as a challenge or a problem. Tomorrow, I will wake up five minutes earlier to have time for my coffee to cool down. Next week, I will leave home thirty minutes later to avoid the peak traffic. Today, I will have a discussion with my boss on my workload that is increasing. Less talking, more acting, and probably, more connecting. Switch criticism time to creation time, not easy, but essential to get a better and more fulfilling life!