Catégorie : Leadership

  • Vested interests and the big lies in relationship

    https://unsplash.com/charliefoster
    https://unsplash.com/charliefoster

    Day 624. Like probably many of you, I receive tons of request for help emails. This is what I call relationship lies. I hate lies and love direct relationships. You want to help because you have an interest in providing help. So come to me to help and tell me upfront how helping me with help you. With this, we have a real vested interest in each other success. But you will tell me, what about free help with nothing out of it for the one who provides help? IMHO, this does not exist. For one simple reason: doing good makes us feel good. It’s a pure hormonal story. Doing good for the sake of doing good generates dopamine and serotonin in our brains, and this is making us feel good. So if you want to provide feel help, tell me it will make you feel good, and I will be happy to help you feel good.

    Does it take the magic out of the relationship? No, it brings trust and openness back. It’s all about being honest on a win-win relationship. What do I win, what do you win? Sure, it may not be linked to money, profit or any mercantile transaction, but from a relationship perspective, each party has something to contribute and to win. Not acknowledging this is a blatant lie, so let’s be open from the onset. Being open about the win-win situation is agreeing uncovering potential vulnerabilities as well. It’s the price to pay to have wonderful fulfilling relationships.

    To close, I do not believe everyone is ready to have this discussion, because some have personal agenda that cannot be disclosed for whatever reason. My advice? Do not accept any help if everything is not on the table. If something’s hidden, the relationship is skewed and better get out sooner than later. If you do this, you may lose some business or relationships, but you will sleep better at night.

  • La gratitude est un art trop souvent oublié

    https://unsplash.com/insolitus
    https://unsplash.com/insolitus

    Jour 615. En fait, je ne suis pas sûr que cela soit un art, mais plutôt une qualité. Remercier pour ce que l’on a, même si c’est peu, devrait faire partie des activités quotidiennes. Quand on voit le drame de nombreuses personnes, il est primordial de relativiser notre propre situation. De plus, râler ou se faire des soucis a un effet biologique simple : l’augmentation de cortisol. Le cortisol est le neurotransmetteur dont l’évolution nous a gratifié pour nous prévenir d’un danger. Et un danger il y a quelques dizaine de milliers d’années c’était une question de vie ou de mort, alors quoi faire face à ce danger ? Se battre ou fuir. Dans les deux cas, très physique, le cortisol est régulé par d’autres neurotransmetteurs comme les endorphines, la dopamine et l’ocytocine.

    Mais de nos jours, il n’est plus de question de vie ou de mort, alors le cortisol s’accumule, le stress augmente et la maladie s’installe. Un des meilleurs moyens de réguler le cortisol est de changer son point de vue, d’être reconnaissant de ce que l’on a, de voir la vie non pas au travers de ce que l’on n’a pas, mais ce que l’on a. il n’existe qu’une seule réalité : le présent. Imaginer le futur ou se plaindre du passé n’a que l’effet de ne pas vivre dans le présent et d’apprécier ce que l’on a.

    Il n’est pas nécessaire de faire la révolution dans sa vie, juste de se mettre à remercier pour les petites choses du quotidien, remercier les gens que l’on rencontre pour ce qu’ils apportent, et remercier pour ce que nous sommes. Je suis un fervent partisan que tout un chacun fait du mieux qu’il peut au moment où il le fait. Ce n’est pas toujours ce que vous considérez comme le mieux, mais c’est le mieux que cette personne peut faire. En partant de ce principe, on a une base pour faire évoluer les relations et les actions, et surtout pour remercier de ce qui est fait. Un remerciement par jour est tout ce qu’il faut pour commencer. Cela pourra sembler inconfortable ou gauche qu début, mais cela deviendra vite une habitude et votre vie a de grandes chances de changer pour de bon.

  • Form, Storm, Norm, Perform, the 4 stages of developing a team

    Day 612. I recently came across the four stages of team development, as defined by Bruce Tuckman in the 60’s. As newly appointed Chief Technology Officer for Microsoft in Africa, I am building a team of highly skilled individuals. Although I have some leadership experience, forming a team is always a daunting task. Hiring particularly. Like in many other jobs, you may want to hire fast, and that’s a mistake, you should be hiring well, but not fast, choosing quality above speed. However, if finding A-player is a must to me, having them work as a team is another challenge.

    As I said, I came across the form-storm-norm-perform concept while listening to Rising Strong, the latest book of Brené Brown. As per Tuckman’s research, these four stages are necessary and inevitable for a team to strive and deliver results. While reading more on the four stages, they are all shaping the way my team leadership will change and the way I’m going to interact, molding the team to perform at the highest possible level. Allow me to describe it in simple terms:

    • Forming. Getting to know everybody by meeting regularly, not only to talk business but also to exchange personal stories. I am not into « team building » exercises that can be fun, but are always artificial and never, to me, beneficial. I prefer « team bonding » where informal leads to personal.
    • Storming. Like in scuba diving, to me storming goes through buddying. We work individually, challenge in pair, exchange in group. We need to disagree, to provide feedback and act on it. At this stage, respect, listening and empathy are crucial, as clear decision making, clear focus and clear guidance.
    • Norming. Each member is clear of his/her role as individual contributor and is required to contribute to the team well-being and performance. Conflicts will arrive, failure too, this is the test of the group. We will accept failure, learn and rise stronger.
    • Performing. The ultimate test is the results delivered. However, while results will start to be delivered, a sense of belonging, of autonomy of decisions and of pride will emerge. There may be superstars in the team, but the team results will be celebrated before individual’s achievement. No victory is a one’s (wo)man’s victory, it’s always the team’s one!

    Although well defined, those stages will melt, and the team may move back and forth depending on the circumstances. I therefore not look at those as four stages well defined, but more as a framework that stood the test of time, that provide guidance. The sextant tells you where you are but never defines the direction! Next rendezvous is mid-year review!

  • All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare

    Day 570. This quote from philosopher Spinoza has been used two days ago by Satya Nadella, Microsoft’s CEO, during his keynote to sales and marketing employee, at the annual company meeting. To give more thought about this simple sentence, I found this article that puts it into perspective. Worth five minutes of your time.

    J 570

  • A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. St Exupery.

    Day 568. Simplify, simplify, simplify. « A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. » St Exupery.

    J 568