Anger is the result of ineffectualness

Day 537. Why are we angry? We can be angry at somebody or at something. Anger is an emotion. It can spearhead action and call for a change. This is what psychologists consider the good side of anger. However, it’s easy to cross the line that delineates the good warning system from the harmful reaction to our health and relationships.

Although, as for all emotions, we cannot control anger, we can however control our response to anger. Anger expressed with violence is destructive, anger expressed with assertiveness is helpful. Anger is actually the result of our ineffectualness, of our inability to handle a situation that we feel goes beyond our control.

We are angry at a kid breaking a glass while trying to drink. We are angry at a situation that goes haywire in a direction that we did not forecast. We are angry at an action somebody takes while we expected something else. In all those situation, it’s normal to get angry, it’s not constructive to react violently and vehemently. It may feel good, but it will always destroy trust, confidence and relationship. It’s much better to breathe and confront the reality by evaluating the situation and its outcome. One of the methods I found useful in most cases is to ask two questions to yourself or to the other party involved: Is this really important? What should have been different?

Generally, even if it’s an important event, there’s always a lot to learn from it. And as I was saying recently, either you win our your learn! When angers comes in, better learn!

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